On Non-Trditional Future Plans

I want to make my living with things that cannot be mastered nor figured out.

I want to learn glass blowing, gun making, smithing, any sort of material manipulation you can imagine. I want a simple, self sustaining life in the middle of nowhere, where no one can complain about the noise. I want a green house, run on alternative energy. I want a workshop with beads and bones and bayonets. I want a small island in a fish pond on which to eat my lunch. I want a dachshund and a great dane. That's a beautiful contrast.

I want to transfer the ideas I have for things directly into reality. I don't want to have to deal with the hoops involved in engineering or similar crapola that would involve the (further) crushing of my soul.

The most intricate things that you can imagine are made brutishly, with hammers and fire and chisels. It's stunning. There will always be respect for it. There will always be a market for it. It does not change. It does not really require the use of my jerk of a brain, at least not in the sense that people expect me to use it.

Crafting things is a skill.
I will never be an artist, but I want to be an artisan.

I will never get the things I want. I will never be truly happy.

And you can blame people like Mr. Briggs for that.

I want to learn things. I don't want to be educated.

I will be forced into what the world expects of me. I will not be allowed to have the things that I want.

It takes too much energy to fight.

That breaks my heart.

I'm selfish, I guess.